Law won

A lot of people assume things that come naturally to most people come naturally to all. I can assure you this is not the case. I've been, well, slow to catch on to a lot of these types of things. As part of an effort to change it up a little (and especially after a bad experience with our city bus system), I decided it might be about time I learn to drive.

I've been getting out a lot these past few weeks to get comfortable behind the wheel of a high-powered death machine, but I caught on fairly quickly, I think. You know, if you ignore the five or so years leading up to the last month. Scheduled my driver's test and everything (for March- are they only doing one a week??). So I'm driving around with my mom today, pulled into our first stop, executed a fine parking job, and decided to wait in the car instead of getting out. Mom back in, I pull out of the parking lot and get half a block when I see blinking lights in my rear view.

I definitely got pulled over. And ticketed. For not wearing my seatbelt.

First off, why is that even a law? And more importantly, why is it being enforced? Holy cow, are we really that hurting for crime in the greater Salem area? I didn't even know I could be ticketed as a permit driver (turns out you can, it should be noted). Not being in a financial position to suddenly develop this problem with authority, I did my best to plead my case, but what are you going to say? You either are or you aren't wearing your seatbelt at any given time. At that given time, I wasn't. And there's no chance of NOT getting a ticket- this officer's job was to do nothing but sit there and write up citations for the portion of the population that has such obvious disregard for the law that they don't wear their seatbelts. No kidding. He told me (not in so many words... but that's the general idea). For three days, one officer will sit and do nothing but the seatbelt sting. They answer no other calls, they look for nothing else. Seatbelt sting. Puke.

After the initial shock, my response was understandably to buy a new pair of jeans at our next stop. My mom's was to drive back by the officer and commit some other offense lawfully belted in, just to see if he really did nothing but seatbelt citations. (We didn't actually do that, but we were sure tempted.)

Apparently there's some class I can take (the "seatbelt diversion program"- I'm not even joking) that will probably take 5 hours to tell me to wear my seatbelt. Which, it should be noted, I do about 98% of the time. $100 ticket. Ridiculous. Ironic, also, and hilarious probably someday. But today is not someday. Today is Tuesday. And because it is Tuesday and not someday, it's still a bit close to be funny here. But just as today is not someday because it is, in fact, Tuesday, you are not here. You are there. And there, it's probably pretty dang funny.