Goodnight, Beethoven

I love this time of day. I suppose it would be more accurately described as "this time of night", but if that were entirely true we wouldn't say there are 24 hours in a day, would we?

Anyway, I'm just sitting here in my room like I do at the end of most days, listening to something I can get lost in, usually of a melancholy nature. Right now it's Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata, which I absolutely love. Before my sleeping habits got completely out of control, I would do my best to get through the day quickly in order to arrive at this time of night (or day), where everything is quiet. As long as it's dark and everyone else is asleep, nothing is expected of me until morning. For one who lives with so much sound, I need the silence. This is my time. It's really quite peaceful.

I suppose there are many reasons I'm drawn to music. It's a fascinating thing, to be carried away by sound alone, where even words become unnecessary. People seek out music for so many things... they seek it out to feel justified in their anger, to be amused, to be uplifted, to lose themselves in the struggle or triumph of someone else's life, to find someone or something that understands. That's something, isn't it? When you find a song that describes your own life so accurately it borders on otherworld? Music is a lifeforce that understands like nothing else, a vibrant living thing. We're all seeking validation. In retrospect, it seems only natural that I would have to find in something else what I lacked finding in people. There's a beauty there, a way of capturing life and connecting with the soul on some higher, unexplainable level.

Maybe it's just me, I don't know. Maybe it doesn't matter. Music makes me feel like I fit somewhere, like I can contribute something of value to the world. So that understood, I have no hesitation in devoting my life to it.