Lately I've been having some major inadequacy dreams. I'm pretty sure I know why, but that's irrelevant as pertaining to this blog post. They aren't just scary dreams either. They're not really scary at all, in a traditional sense. These are custom made for Courtney bad dreams, designed specifically to make me feel completely and utterly worthless. So my brain, pulling from the deep dark recesses to find the one thing that will disturb and make me question my self-worth more than anything else, has decided the cruelest thing to do to me... is put me in math class.
I'm not even kidding. This has gone on several nights in a row. Math class. Every time. I haven't even had a math class in almost seven years. Evidently, it was a more scarring experience than I gave it credit for. Sure, I like to think of myself as at least a passably intelligent human being, so I don't really enjoy being so inept at something so simple. But I wouldn't have thought with my conscious brain that math class- above all else in my entire lifetime- would be the most poignant reminder of personal ineptitude.
So when I throw a comment out there like "I'm not real good with numbers", I mean it. I have the nightmares to prove it.
Does this happen to anyone else?
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Let's review;
1) Married in the Temple - check
2) Shared stage with over a dozen major label artists - check
3) Weightless heard by over 13 million during NFL game as promo for NBC show - check
4) Completed half-marathon (in new shoes) in less than three hours - check
Take THAT, math class!
Oh, Courtney! How sad. You should come visit my math class. It will make you feel much better about the whole math experience!
That common math teacher who shall not be name does that to people who take his math class. Stupid number 42, I still can't look at that number the same way.
Not math class, but my recurring dream was that someone had died my parents different colors and they kept changing. Wish I knew what kind of insecurity that meant for me! Hope yours'll leave you alone soon!
Oh girl, I hear ya! We all have our Achilles heel, and mine is math too. Those dreams are just mean! My mom said that sometimes she would awake from a mean dream like that and be able to go back to sleep and be *just* aware enough that she could control certain elements of the dream. So that's my challenge to you... show those dreams who's boss! Lemme know how it goes... :)
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