It's amazing what you resort to when you can't sleep. For me, it's imagined conversations... one wants to be prepared, right? I think of how to approach things, and what to say for countless situations, a vast majority of which I'll probably never find myself in. And even the ones that do come to pass, it's not like I have the confidence to say what I want to.
That's really a distraction though. Because if I think, if I really think about where I am and the decisions I've made, I could drive myself crazy. I'm falling apart. I keep thinking this is as hard as it gets, that the light at the end of the tunnel is just about to appear, maybe I missed something. Maybe I missed something. Someday gets harder to live on every day. But I suppose everyone asks how much longer.
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