well it goes like this

the fourth, the fifth
the minor fall and the major lift

learning curve

Here is an apology to anyone who has ever given me sound advice: I'm sorry I'm a little slow.

I realized just this week something many of you probably know already, which is actually what I need to apologize for in the first place. I've found that I can be told something that I guess is true, but then one day weeks or months or even years down the road it will strike me as something new and brilliant. Then I usually let whoever was bright enough to already know of this particular epiphany I vow I will put into action in my life, and they are often heard to say at that point "yeah, I've been telling you...". So I'm sorry. Baby steps, with me, always the baby steps.

Traditionally I've had a large gap between realization and application, a gap I am now aware of and striving to close as much as possible. There's just a difference you feel when casual and accepted knowledge suddenly hits you as something you can't help but act on, and live differently than you had been, and there's a change in the way you approach things.

Today, I believe that it's not too late for me.

words

I find that I like to write when I have an epiphany, or come to some sort of conclusion. But lately I've found I haven't had much to write, and not for lack of trying or disinterest. I have no conclusions. I have no epiphanies. I only have the process, the wondering, the in between. Even when I try to pull back my perspective to draw any sort of material from the things I see and the life I'm living I struggle. There is so much to wait for before a declaration, and it's all so close...